2003

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Fuck You Life!!

Tonight marks a change in my life, I’ve just had a conversation with Rob. I have now resigned myself to the fact that I will never see him. No matter what I say I just can’t seem to break through to him. And he doesn’t seem to want to fight his anxiety – he is happy to let it rule his life. I’ve had enough of banging my head against a brick wall. Rob and I will be online friends – but that is all it will ever be, we will remain close friends. But I have to turn my love interests and all that somewhere else. I can’t let him run away with my heart anymore. Read the rest of this entry »

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Yet again another year comes quickly to an end, 2003 has been quite a fast moving year. So lets look back at a Summary of the year… Read the rest of this entry »

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To Prove I Care

It’s 12:43am on Wednesday 24th December. This is being written at this time because of a personal request of Marty. One of my closest friends, one of my true friends who I would do anything for. I’m typing in here for him so that I can show him how much I care… and how small he made me feel by rubbing it in that I don’t call him often enough!!!!!! That he always calls me. SO he has left it for me to call him next – and we have set a time of the weekend after Xmas. Read the rest of this entry »

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First of all I had my family Xmas do with my mum, Graham and Grandparents. All are very well and it was great to see them as I stopped off on route to Ipswich. So already I’ve had some of my Xmas presents (2x DVD’s – Xmen and Bruce Almighty (both good films), Daniel Bedingfields album, my slippers, handkerchiefs, a new shirt and tie for work) Plus a great meal cooked by mum. Read the rest of this entry »

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Well Just came back from Glasgow last night, an OK trip, travelled by British Airways which makes for a comfortable journey. I actually like flying with them as you get food on board and the plane itself is more comfortable. Plus you don’t have to wait as long for your luggage as most of the passengers are business people with no luggage. Read the rest of this entry »

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WOW November has gone in a flash. But things have happened during it. I have been applying a little pressure to Rob, and it seems to have worked a little bit. I asked if I could see him on Saturday just gone. His response was “What happens if I say yes?” Read the rest of this entry »

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Recently I’ve just felt really low, I just want to shut everything out and just curl up and forget all. I just want to be in the arms of someone so that I can close my eyes and temporary forget the world around me. To feel wanted by those arms would be enough to help me recharged – as it would give me direction. Read the rest of this entry »

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He Said What?

So what has been happening in my life? Well the usual so far…… the usual? <Cheeky Grin> I’m finding myself thinking more and more about Rob. He sent me his Fake Smiles document earlier in the week. It’s just like my Trials and Tribulations document. It’s giving Rob a chance to write down his past, a chance for him to order things in his mind, see how things have happened. And maybe even give him a chance to ‘accept’ things. Read the rest of this entry »

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What an exciting weekend – Well first lets talk about Thursday. Becky asked me over as her parents were away. So when I turned up there was Becky, Jess, Simon, Mark and Travis. They are all 18. Read the rest of this entry »

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And yet again the fool raises his head. Last night I had Rob confirm to me my worst fears, he doesn’t fancy me. Just proves I am the biggest fool for ever thinking that he might somehow fancy me. Read the rest of this entry »

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